Loneliness

I’m guessing that loneliness is something we can all relate to. At some point in our lives we’ve probably felt lonely. Maybe it was when we first came to university, not really knowing anyone and feeling really homesick because nothing in Exeter was familiar. I’m also guessing that many people don’t think of loneliness as a condition but more as just a state of being. You’re lonely when you’re alone. That makes sense. But actually, loneliness is a problem that affects many, particularly the more vulnerable in society. It can greatly impact a person’s physical as well as emotional health, those with bad health have an increased risk of mortality if they feel lonely some of the time or often. Research from the University College London calls loneliness a ‘chronic condition.’

Another reason it’s a problem for mankind to be lonely is because God didn’t create us to be solitary creatures but to interact and have relationships with one another. In Genesis, God looks at Adam as he is and concludes, ‘It is not good for man to be alone’ (Genesis 2:18). In fact, as John Milton says, being in a state of loneliness is the first thing in God’s amazing creation that he looks at and concludes is not good. Adam was not complete on his own. He wasn’t made for isolation and neither are we. Instead we are made for relationships. First and foremost we are made to have a relationship with God but we are also made to have relationships with one another.

Yet today many, many people are lonely. This is especially an issue amongst the elderly population. Statistics from the Campaign to End Loneliness show that over half of all people aged 75 or over live alone and two fifths of all older people say the television is their main company. I think that last statistic clearly demonstrates how lonely some people are and how much of a problem it is. Imagine being so lonely that you consider the TV to be your main company.

It doesn’t take a lot for people to invest in other people and build relationships with them. But it can seem like a very difficult thing or may just be something we overlook. Often our lives are so busy that we don’t notice that others are alone and may be feeling lonely. I know one of my biggest regrets is not spending more time with my Grandad who was alone for a large proportion of the day, despite my dad, my uncle and a carer visiting daily. Many elderly people don’t have that sort of contact; 17% of older people are in contact with family, friends and neighbours less than once a week and 11% less than once a month.

We are told that Jesus was in a close relationship with His Heavenly Father and spent time with Him. It was agony for Jesus when He felt God forsook Him on the cross so that our sins could be forgiven and we also could enter into a close relationship with God. As Christians, Jesus commands that we love one another and put others’ needs before ours. When He saw people in need ‘He felt compassion for them’ (Matthew 9:36). Our lives ought to look like Jesus’ life, and we ought to respond the same way as Jesus did when we see people in need. We do this by His strength and as an outpouring of His love. We are called to show compassion to others, to recognise when they need our help – even if that’s just our company – and to be willing to provide that for them. No-one should feel so alone that the TV is their main company and nobody deserves to be forgotten at the end of, or at any point in, their lives. If God says that loneliness is ‘not good’ then we should be doing something to stop it.

A couple of things that may be useful to do are:

• Read up on loneliness (the Campaign for Loneliness website is very informative)

• Make an effort to speak to people we know who are always on their own

• Visit an elderly relative

• Volunteer in an elderly care home (Just Love are beginning an initiative for this that you can get involved in)

• Give thanks to God that we are not alone and He is always with us – ‘And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.’ (Matthew 28:20)