Family

Proverbs 6:20 – ‘My Son, obey your father’s commands, and don’t neglect your mother’s instruction.’

I’d love to talk a little bit in this blog about family, specifically our close family (parents, siblings etc). I’m in no way an expert, but I’ve had a few thoughts lately that may be of some use to someone!

At it’s best, family provides an environment where we feel loved, encouraged, and free to be ourselves. The Bible is rather clear on the importance of family too. The first commandment God gave us was to ‘be fruitful and multiply’ (Genesis 1:28) – from the beginning He wanted men and women to marry and have children. It’s also interesting to see that God didn’t just save Noah from the flood, but also his family too (Genesis 6:18). Furthermore, it wasn’t just Abraham who God called out of Haram, but also Abraham’s family. It is clear that God takes great delight in family.

Getting the priorities straight

I have always been taught that our lives should be structured in this order:

1. Relationship with God

2. Family

3. Ministry/Work (the things we feel God asking us to do)

This seems obvious at first, but it’s so easy to mix up the order! I have often found that in my life there is a real attraction to the ‘Ministry’ aspect of the three – such as leading worship in church, preaching sermons, or pursuing spiritual gifts such as healing or prophecy. All of these things are great things, but what if I still haven’t learnt to love my family? Often in my life I’ve shown public affection and love for Jesus, but meanwhile at home I have no issue with lashing out at one my brothers, or refusing to do what mum has asked me to do! This may sound like a silly example, but surely if we want to see God move through us more powerfully in public (in the church, workplace, or university), then we must pursue private holiness – and a key part of that is to love our families.

Below are a few things I’ve found to be useful:

‘Honour your father and your mother’ (Exodus 20:12)

This is hard! Especially after being at Uni and living independently, it’s difficult going home to not get irritated with our parents for the little things. But honouring our parents is one of the Ten Commandments, placed by God in the same list as ‘Do not murder’! It’s clearly very important to God. So let’s serve our parents wholeheartedly, and do what they ask us to do. If mum asks you to get home for 11pm, then get home at 11pm! Or if Dad asks you to mow the lawn, do it without complaining and to the best of your ability (That may sound kind of teenager-ish but you get the idea...). It is tempting to rebel, but God has hidden real joy in submitting to our parents and really giving them our best!

Crucial Conversation

As much as it is important to encourage and build one another up in family, it’s also important to be honest about the more difficult things. Personally, I recently had to confront one of my family members about the mood swings they’d been having, which they weren’t aware were affecting the whole family. It was difficult to bring up, but as a result of confronting the issue great peace was restored to the family. If we allow issues to build up then they cause discord in

For me, all my family members are Christians. I realise, though, that not everyone is living in a home where this is the case. However, no matter how difficult our families are, I do believe that we all have a God-given role within them. So lets be as loving, encouraging, honest and bold as we can be with our families, and pray that God would allow them to be fully as he created them to be!